As we await Pod’s verdict, I’ll take some time to sit you all down and bore you for a bit. What’s this I hear about the Monday massacres? They are dead? Sleek, you best not pour the legacy down the drain. It’s one of those rare things that don’t go down well with folks if pooped on. Personally, I’ll deny you the right to be a man, if you get the drill.

Have you guys listened to Pink’s Leave Me Alone [I’m Lonely]? Guys, if you picked a leaf from her, maybe you’d stop being such overprotective potatoes. Girls need some alone time (as I’m quite sure you do too). So, complicated as we might be, we’ll love you like hell if you do it the sweet way. We don’t like it when you feel threatened wussy-like. The lyrics are a fun read.

Go away, give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye, it’ll make me want to kiss you
I love you so much more when you’re not here
Watchin’ all the bad shows, drinking all of my beer

I don’t believe Adam and Eve spent every goddamn day together
If you give me some room there will be room enough for two

Tonight
Leave me alone I’m lonely
I’m tired
Leave me alone I’m lonely

I don’t wanna wake up with another
But I don’t wanna always wake up with you either
No you can’t hop into my shower
All I ask for is one fuckin’ hour
You taste so sweet
But I can’t eat the same thing every day
Cuttin’ off the phone
Leave me the fuck alone
Tomorrow I’ll be beggin’ you to come home

Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
Why can’t I just have it both ways

Go away
Come back
I wish you knew the difference

Learnt something?

Karen.

I beg thee, pray for me. In two days I’ll be auditioning for a TV role as one of the hospital staff in the new Scrubs. Pray, pray, pray.

On second thought, I’d gravely suck at it. But I’ll take a wild shot just for the kicks and rescind to my drunken vacation antics. *wink

Pray not…I guess?

[Chuckle chuckle]

How y’all doing? Listen to Boys Like Girls’ new ‘Love Drunk’. It fucking rocks, baby!

Pod.

The Pakalast thingy has cost us much more than we signed up for. Have no clue where Vick is but my sales and marketing team was deported upcountry. So my sincere apologies if I don’t get much time to write.

But:

Erique delivered the sad news at Sleek’s which stepped up my guilt. Again, ladies, gents, and Sleek, sorry.

Now:

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if ladies thoughtlessly said yes to men’s advances? I guess it’s the reason guys think a girl’s “no” is a “yes”.

Guys, what would you think of her if, after you laid your strategy, she said yes without even thinking twice? Let’s face it; you’d freak out and think she’s a whore, right? Then when we say no, you think we’re playing hard to get. What do you want? We shut up and you spread word we’re dumb.

Beats me: if a no makes you hate her and a yes makes you doubt her…

Karen.

A friend fresh out of a break up once asked me with so much pain in his eyes, “Can a girl fall for more than one guy at a go?” Sadly, Richie, the answer is yes. But you already know that, don’t you; our chat on Saturday?

And this is exactly why boys think we are complicated (Not Victoria’s kind of boy, though. That dude is a fine masterpiece of dense). Girls want to be loved. That’s just a simple rule. So the variation in the amount of love given is what determines our loyalty to you. Let’s talk about the two-boyed girl.

She’s the one whose guy doesn’t provide enough love. Mostly, this happens in long relationships where he starts taking her for granted. Along comes a knight on another white horse. Now, knight two proves to be all she’s looking for; the attention and all that. He doesn’t take her for granted and could be genuinely in love with her. She’d fall for dude two but still like dude one coz of what they’ve shared all those years. Or she thinks dude one will change and she’ll come back to him. This is the kind that falls in love with two dudes.

Another explanation is she simply fell out of love with you (yes, even if you cared so much) but still wants you around coz you give her the attention she cannot get anywhere else. This is the kind that likes bad boys but you’re the good kind. Sucks, I know. Allow me to go cliché for a second, love. There’s someone better for you out there. Okay, two seconds. You’ll find happiness again.

Do not even think of calling to ask her back, you hear? That’s way below the belt. If my heart was into it, I would be your FWB, at least until you totally got over her. Oh, I forgot I was talking to you. It means Friends With Benefits, get it? Like Erique said, “Dude, don’t act like the Virgin Mary nined you for a carpenter. Go get laid or something”. Erique Mununuzi, I’m sure one of the nurses committed suicide during your birth.

Karen.

Him: Hi, can we meet? I need to talk to you

Her: Okay baby, where? What time?

Him: Now. Come to my place.

Her: But baby, I told you am helping my mum do something. Can I come over at six instead?

Him: No! I want us to meet now. Why don’t you take me seriously?

Her: No, baby. I…okay, let me finish up and I’ll be there in about thirty minutes

Later

Him: Hey, am so sorry but we just can’t go on anymore. I just don’t feel the same way for you.

She stares at him so hard, tired of crying everyday. She stays calm and indifferent before replying.

Her: Okay.

Him: What? That’s all? ‘Okay?’ I thought you loved me but I guess I’ve always been wrong about you.

Her: Can I go home now?

Him: Go. And let’s not talk again.

Later

Him: Hello? Hi. Can I…can I see you tomorrow?

Her: Why, I thought we weren’t supposed to talk again

Him: I know, sweetheart but I made a terrible mistake and am so sorry.

Now, what the hell does he expect her to do; say yippy and run back? Boys!

Hi guys.

Vick.

I listened to Marit Larsen’s The Chase and wondered why people have to be so complicated. No, I wondered why I have to be so complicated. Plainly spilled, I love the chase. I love being sought after but when it actually gets down to the real thing, when I actually say yes, I hate and resent you. I thought that was supposed to be a boy thing but, hell, I’m sexed!

I love it when he looks at me with intense want, that powerful look that burns through your soul like a dagger used to tattoo demons. I can’t help but think, if it’s too intense during the chase, it’s only rational to assume saying ‘yes’ to him will ice it some. Guys, am I right? Been through this whole thing so I’m guessing it’s like my guard or something.

I just hate it when the boy gets all sweet and mushy. During the badass I-want-you-bad-but-aint-gat-you phase, they act macho and kinda pull off the whole sexy thing but when they actually get through the tough metal door they think acting all lovy-dovy will get me awww-ing and wow-ing and be their princess forever, the ugly frogs!

A little mean there but, well, maybe it’s just me. I think it’s just…I know it’s just me. Strange, huh? No.It’s not strange but I had no better way to end this post. Well, maybe I did but…oh hell. What happened to Fluorescent and the Blogger Whispers? And what happened to Sleek and the new Monday Massacres?

Karen.

No two people love each other alike. I look at couples professing endless I-love-you-toos, the liars, and think of how crazy they are to dare speak of such profanities. Did I get your attention? Good. Let’s veer for a bit.

Why is so much time spent in our world today trying to hide what we feel? Because you think the one you love will not love you back? Is living without taking chances really living? Do I really need to be loved by another to feel complete? The warm bloods will mostly scream ‘yes’ and ‘yes’. Oh hell, what a waste of pen and paper.

Been long since I last had sex. It’s a little unconventional for girls to get awfully horny but hey, we’re only human. TMI I guess? Another waste of pen and paper. Sigh.

Karen.

I hate you. I love you. If I was never to see you again, it would be too soon. I have no more goodbyes left.  Please let me be myself. This pillow smells so much of you. Go away. I need you here by me. My intrepid fingers point you away. Bring back yesterday. I hate love.

No, you hate me. Who are you? I’m the one you killed for love. I only wanted to be with you, hold you forever. Even in death, you’re still obsessed with me. I only crack the shutters every second. I know; I’m always here.

We both are. Why did baby have to leave? Wait, I’m supposed to say that. Why, because baby left and now…

Now what…

I’m your replacement? Wh…!

Hon, I’m your other personality. No, they cannot hear. We’re six feet under. Scoot over, love.

Vick & Karen.

I used to believe when Jesus died He left an army of angels to carry on with His celestial glory. Then, I was young in all principle, logical and divine. Then I listened to Coldplay and stopped believing. I knew. These…things transcend all nature seen before and define a temperament never to be seen after. They are, for all intents and purposes, the best band to tread the planet that is the mother of us.

A friend once declared the superb dexterity behind the song ‘Fix You’ is a clear sign “the world is coming to an end”. A day after the release of X & Y, their best album by far, he went to church to make his first confession and atone for his sins before flying over to London to get an autograph from lead vocalist Chris Martin. Too bad he only managed a bad headache from getting drunk and a ‘PC’ tattoo (maybe the tattooist could have sworn he knew of a certain band named Playcold).

I would have told you to listen to one of their best songs, if they had a best. You gotta listen to all their songs. They are the best off their respective albums. But if you must insist, I’ll choose Fix You (Great God, the guitar riffs!), The Scientist, Yellow, In My Place, Clocks (OMG) and every neophyte’s favorite, Viva La Vida. Oooh, and Lost (acoustic version).

You want me to forever hold my peace? Tell me you don’t like ‘em. I dare ya!

Left to Right: Will Champion (Drums, backing vocals), Guy Berryman (Bass), Chris Martin (Lead vocals), Johnny Buckland (Lead guitar) doing one of their sinister acts, the freakishly admirable bastards.

Pod.

I always find it ironic that the street beggar will tell you “I’m suffering. I hate my life” and the rich lonely guy will tell you the same thing: “I’m suffering. I hate my life”. The whole broad experience that is life has taught me that loneliness is the highest level of suffering one could ever endure. She’s been through lots of relationships and taken many a man for granted. Now she sits there wishing, just wishing, she had that wholly affectionate hand around her again.

Her first lover was, by far, the warmest and kindest of them all. He was everything the movies would call perfect. And that, to her, was his greatest weakness. She hated him for it. She hated him for being there whenever she needed him. She hated that he knew every part of her. They never fought. And that was the reason for their first (and last) fight. “You never get into an argument with me, Brian. Why!” What a child she was. What a child she still is.

With the next guy, they had fights…and then the fights. Then fighting wasn’t as fancy as she thought it was. He lied more than the word’s inventor, that cheating bastard! She ran. She ran fast back to Brian. She sheds a tear when she thinks of how many times he left his arms open for her. And how many times she took him even more for granted. She wanted him to be there. But not be there.

Her Brian fell irrevocably in love again. But not with her. And no amount of man will wash away the part of her that was Brian. I never find it ironic that the street beggar will tell you “I’m suffering. I hate my life” and the rich lonely guy will tell you the same thing: “I’m suffering. I hate my life”. They are one and the same.

No, that’s not the end of the story.

What people distressingly fail to see is there is no such thing as change. People do not change. They simply evolve to fit into surroundings. If he had let her back in, she’d have done the same thing to him over again.

Still not the end of the story.

She’s stupid for letting him go and he’s stupid for staying there for her. I’m stupid for not telling you a more interesting tale and you’re…no, you’re my darling readers. Now, that’s the end of the story.

Karen.

Hi blogville,

This is Victoria: Hi blogren.

Karen: Hello, everyone!

And Pod: Hey there.

Together, we make the The Trio. You may be wondering why we didn’t each get our own blog but we preferred to put different issues together, as you’ll witness in the course of time. Vick brought this blog to light through Erique’s Rentedmess and we all had a chuckle as you guys slowly crafted them into Siamese twins and thought she was him (or him her!)

Today, it’s just about introductions so don’t expect much of what you’d call a post. Vivacious Vick and Hot Karen are Ugandan while Stunning Pod is Californian; what you’d call American. Expect her posts to be more into entertainment and rock music (that’s how they got to be friends with Erique: Coldplay). As for the other two, well, stay and see.

We hope to bore you never so I guess we’ll see you here again? Great!

Ta ta…